Klimt and Me

Wrapped Up
In myself

My heart decides

Grounded
rooted in each other

TRASHY BEAUTIFUL

A Merry Mountain Of Modern Morals

It has been 9 months since my last blog entry and, after carrying around this load, I am finally ready to give birth to another. In May, I was babysitting a seven year old brooklynite. We decided to read some nursery rhymes. She liked the idea because it allowed her to feel totally confident about reading the material. As we were reading, I realized how absolutely bizarre all of these short tales were. I mentally took note that each story could be summed up with one word.

Take a look...

There Was An Old Woman

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.






Increasing Poverty

Jack Sprat

Jack Sprat could eat no fat.

His wife could eat no lean.

And so between them both, you see,

they licked the platter clean.

Eating Disorders

Peter Pumpkin Eater

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,

Had a wife but couldn't keep her;

He put her in a pumpkin shell

And there he kept her very well.

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,

Had another and didn't love her;

Peter learned to read and spell,

And then he loved her very well

Domestic Violence

Little Bo-Peep

Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep,

And can't tell where to find them;

Leave them alone, And they'll come home,

Wagging their tails behind them.

Parenting





The Purple Cow

I never saw a purple cow.
I never hope to see one.
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one!



Racism






Mary Had a Little Lamb

Mary had a little lamb,
little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb,
whose fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
Mary went, Mary went,
and everywhere that Mary went,
the lamb was sure to go.



Co-Dependency







Little Boy Blue


Little boy blue
Come blow your horn
The sheep's in the meadow

The cow's in the corn
Where is that boy
Who looks after the sheep?
Under the haystack
fast asleep.
Will you wake him?
Oh no, Not I
For if I do, he will surely cry.


Neglectful political figures: George Bush

Accidentally Found Continent

Sleeping Bag for an Ipod

Some Things I Have Always Wanted To Do

1. Skydive
2. Walk around NYC and hand 20 dollar bills to homeless people or anyone playing their music.
3. Be in a photo shoot on America's Next Top Model
4. Cut off someone's long braid
5. Hang out with Alanis Morissette
6. Walk on the runway of a fashion show
7. Publish an article in the NY Times
8. Live in Africa, France, and Australia
9. Play a villain in a movie with a lot of crazy makeup
10. Tell off rude customers who harass employees
11. Learn 2 more languages
12. swim in a pool of pomegranate seeds
13. Organize a human rights rally
14. Get paid to organize people's rooms
    

LIVin' In Your Own List

There is a list I have that is on a loose piece of paper in my room some where and it is one of my top five best lists. It is the kind of list you can bring anywhere and entertain a crowd (only if you have my comedic ability, of course). This list is called "LIST OF HYSTERICS". It is simple. It is a list of stories that have either happened to me or someone I knew. I gathered these stories of hysterics and put their titles on a page. Some of the titles include-"Felipe" "Steak!" "Steve-O" and "Shana". These stories are NOT inside jokes of any kind. They are for everyone to enjoy.

So stop what you were doing before this- picking your nose, procrastinating,listening to Weezer, watching Jurrasic Park- and write your own list of hysterics.

The world is only funnier if you make it that way.